Lois M. Mileham

‘You are entering the Beauty not far from your heart. It’s a place that embraces you as you are. I trust that you will be met by a welcoming presence that knows you, and that meets you with a deeper love than you have ever imagined in this world. May you know, without any doubt, the precious gift that you are.’ – Michael Stillwater. I will always remember Lois as sweet and lovely, with twinkling eyes, a model of generosity and service. So sad that she is gone, such a loss for us all. My condolences to her family, and especially to my dad, Bob Gray.

Mass of the Resurrection – Mrs. Lois Mileham January 4, 2006 – Blessed Sacrament ‘So, what do you think of evolution?’ That was the first question Lois ever asked me. Such a simple question! And yet, unknown to Lois, it is one of those questions that priests often dread to hear. It can cause a priests face to pale, knees to knock, stomach to twist and blood to stop flowing to his brain. It conjures up the image of being in a vast minefield with nothing but your own toes to tap the ground ahead of you. Cautiouslycarefully, you tap, tap, tap the ground, proceeding slowly while expecting the next tap to yield the dreaded explosion. But I quickly learned that with Lois, I need not have worried. She had not asked the question with an agenda to push, nor was she one of the doctrine police checking my answer for Roman Catholic orthodoxy. And it became even clearer over the course of years as our topics of discussion moved on to purgatory, limbo, Reconciliation, the Eucharist and demonic possession, to name just a few. And of course, how could I ever forget the topic of many discussions: angels and archangels, and their relationships to those of us living on the earth. No, she was not a woman with an ax to grind. She was a model of what St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas called ‘Faith seeking Understanding.’ She was a woman of deep faith. A believer seeking to understand the implications of what she believed. So often people approach our faith with an ‘Either-Or’ attitudebut it often takes a lifetime to come to the understanding that our religion is a ‘Both-And’ faith. The issue is not either you believe in evolution or you dont. You can believe in evolution, or you can believe in a literal reading of the Genesis story, or you can believe in some combination of the twothe real issue is: no matter how it happened, do you believe in a good, gracious and loving Creator that created all that is, out of love? If you live your life in gratitude, praising and honoring the one who provided all that isthat provided you with everything you have that is goodwhat does it matter whether God said: ‘Let it be.’ -or- ‘Let it become.’ Our faith is a ‘both-and’ faith. We chose one of the longest nights of the year to celebrate ‘the light that has shone among us.’ In celebrating the birth of the Light of the World, we dont deny or ignore the darkness. We acknowledge that there can be no Spring without WinterNo Easter without Good FridayNo forgiveness without sinNo life without death. Just for a moment, imagine your refrigerator, your freezer, or your pantry at home. The food we need to live is the product of death. Something died to provide for our living. Even vegetarians live because some plants died. Is it really such a stretch to believe that Christs death could give us LIFE. We believe both in the Cross and in the Empty Tomb. Because we believe, we know that death is not an endits a transition. Death is not a tragedy, its a transformation. Its not the end of the line; its a change of address. Death has brought us here. We do not deny the pain. We do not ignore the loss. We do not pretend the sorrow of parting is not there. We do not deny reality or call it illusion in order to get some passing comfort. We do not try to water down our experience. But we also must not dilute the message of Christ. The message of God given through the angels to Mary Magdalene and the other women is given to us: ADo not search for the living one among the dead. He is not there. He has risen.@ We come here today with a perspective that is vastly different from the world=s. We come here with Faith. We profess our faith that Jesus Christ has truly risen from the dead. And because He has conquered death, we do not look for Lois among the dead. She is not there. She lives! Dont, even for a moment, think that your Mom, your grandma, is in that casket. She isnt. Only her body…and we honor that body with a beautiful casketwe honor her body with a Christian funeraland we honor her body with great reverence because it is a sacred relic, because your Mom, your Grandma used that body…and you will take that body to its final resting place to await the resurrection at the end of time…because your Mom, your Grandma doesnt need that body until thenuntil the end of time, because your Mom, your Grandma lives with God. All the qualities that you loved in your Mom, your Grandma, were not qualities of the bodythey are qualities of the souland those qualities live on in her. Her Faith Her intellect Her willpower Her sense of duty and honor. Her commitment to parenthood. The pride she had in her husband, her children, her grandchildren. Her humor. Her Hope. Her Love. In the waters of Baptism, Christ promised Lois eternal Life. Lois ate the Bread of Life and drank from the Cup of Salvation. Jesus said: AHe who eats my flesh and drinks my blood, even if they die, shall live.@ Lois waited for 78 years for Christ to fulfill his promises. Today, in the sprinkling of holy water upon her casket at the beginning of this celebration; and in our sharing in the one bread and the one cup, we proclaim our belief that God=s promises to Lois, once made in Baptism, are now fulfilled. Lois has gone on to live in a dwelling place prepared for her from the beginning of the world. A dwelling place where every tear has been wiped away and there is no more death or mourning, wailing or pain. A place where all her questions are answered. And all we have to do to follow her — is to follow the one she followed—Jesus Christ. It is our faith…our hope…our love…that is the source of our peace. Were not saying ‘Good-bye, Mom!’ ‘Goodbye, Grandma!’ ‘Good-bye, Lois!’ Were saying: ‘See you later!’ We love You!!! -Dan Andree C.Ss.R. January 2, 2006