Phyllis Jean Hughes

Phyllis Jean Hughes, 91, Teacher, died Saturday, April 15, 2023. Graveside service will be 11:00 am, Friday, May 12, 2023 at Gypsum Hills Cemetery, Section 10, Salina, Kansas. A Celebration of Life service will be 2:00 pm, Saturday, May 13, 2023, at Dove Estates, 1440 N. 183rd St. West, Goddard, Kansas. Preceded in death by her parents, Elmer and Esther Broman; husband, John Joseph Hughes, III; grandson, Alex Smith; brother-in-law, R. Dan Johnson. Survived by her son, Mark (Karen) Hughes; daughter, Kathy (Mark) Hammond; granddaughter, Robin Fertner; great-grandchildren, Leif and Viktor Fertner; sister, Kay Johnson; niece, Jennifer (Chad) Clark. In lieu of flowers, a memorial has been established with Meals On Wheels c/o Senior Services of Wichita, 200 S. Walnut, Wichita, KS 67213. Services in care of Downing & Lahey Mortuary - West Chapel. Phyllis Hughes Eulogy Some years ago, my sister and I thought of asking our parents what they would like to have covered in their eulogies. Here’s what Mom said:My childhood interests were piano, singing, and reading. As I grew older, I wanted to get married, to teach, to have children, and to take part in raising them. Have those children I did, and that led to sewing, crafts, Campfire girls, Boy Scouts, and, after my children were out on their own, driving for Meals on Wheels.This tells us a little bit about our mother-and leaves out a lot. Anecdotes, otherwise known as treasured memories, tell far more: As a young girl, she ran around the neighborhood with a group of kids. One of boys in her gang couldn’t pronounce her name-Phyllis Jean. What he managed became a nickname to those who knew her best: Fizz Green. In college, Dad was offered a blind date with a girl, suggested by a friend of his. He said not until he saw her first. So, a sighting was set up in a local fountain shop. He took a good look (likely a long one) and said yes. On their first date, a movie, Mom realized he was looking at her, not the screen. Eventually, she turned to him and said: so, like what you see? She believed it’s never too early to start setting expectations-hers for him. After several dates, she felt that he was playing things a bit too casually. A problem easily solved, so far as she was concerned. She let the word get out that she was going out on a date with someone else, and then waited. It didn’t take long. Through her open window came the sound of pounding footsteps, someone running down the street to the sorority house where she lived. Long story short, that evening they solidified their relationship status: she was now wearing his fraternity pin. She’d already seen that Dad wasn’t the kind of man who’d insist in making every decision in their lives. She’d let him have a few now and then… After they were married, they lived in an apartment building in Kansas City. She was coming home from teaching school one afternoon when a door a few down from theirs opened, and a kitten was thrown out. Mom asked no questions; she picked the mewling kitten up and brought it home. When Dad arrived later, he said, I see we have a cat. Mom said yes, we do. When he heard the story, he said, it looks like a nice cat. Dad’s family were great partiers. Of the Irish variety. One Christmas party was held at our house in Overland Park, KS, when Kathy and I were quite young. At some point in the evening, someone made eggnog without asking Mom. Just helped themselves to the pitcher of milk in the refrigerator. It wasn’t until the next day that Mom was mystified to find that the Similac baby formula in the refrigerator was gone. Mom was made of tough Swedish stock, with a bit of French thrown in from her mother’s side. Rarely did situations overwhelm her, but one category did: when her children left for college and then left for good. She could take shingles, a brain tumor, and a stroke, but knowing she wouldn’t hear her children’s voices, mature though they were, in the house every day, was more than she could take. Each time, it took a few days before she could get over the change and get back into life. Those who knew her in her final decades know her laughter, how it punctuated her conversation and enlivened the spirits of those around her. She developed the talent during some difficult years when Dad was having career problems that were getting him down. She never gave up on him but encouraged and supported him, much of it with the positive take on life that came to define her to all who knew her. In her last hours, she no longer had the energy to muster that laugh, but her sense of humor was still there, as she smiled at the jokes Kathy and I made, standing beside her bed. Not one word of protest or self-pity passed her lips in those final hours, difficult and painful though they were at times. This, despite the fact that she was to be in San Diego at that moment, not in an ICU bed. She missed out on her last hurrah, a trip she’d been looking forward to for weeks. Doubtless, she felt cheated, but she didn’t complain. I think she wanted to impress one last lesson on us: to stay positive, to look on the bright side, and to laugh every chance you got-because you never knew who might benefit, and surely you would.