Christian Gray Frederick

Two people kayaking the Arkansas River spotted a man’s body under the bridge by the Keeper of the Plains, Monday, July 3, 2017. The man, in his 40’s, was dead. This is a common news story reported over the years in Wichita, Kansas. This time, however, the body was known to his many friends and loved ones as our Christian. All communication ceased from Christian on July 1, 2017. Christian Gray Frederick, was born June 6, 1969, to Marlin Ray Frederick and Rosemary “Susie” Gribble. He was both a creative and a sensitive child. He had a variety of pets, including baby ducks. One imprinted Christian as his mother. Unfortunately, the one duckling was actually 3 different ducklings because the family dog kept eating them. His parents did not have the heart to tell him, but Christian was smart enough to note the different behavior patterns of each. At age 5, he had a magical pony appear in his backyard. It was just his size. While showing it off to friends, he was kicked by the little Shetland, leaving a “new birthmark” on his forehead. A smart young man, he attended public schools early on. During that time, he made papermache puppets and would perform weekly puppet shows interpreting books. At a parent-teacher conference, it was discovered that he was a teacher’s aide, not a student. They transferred him to Collegiate Academy where he could be in a learning environment. Active in theatre, he marked his claim to fame with Music Theatre of Wichita’s production of OLIVER. He was 13 at the time. A front page story had Wichitans wondering if his voice would reach the high notes! Well, he nailed it. In his teens, he and his parents traveled frequently to Dallas, Texas, where he was a model for back to school clothing for high-end retail stores. He appeared in various periodicals. Two cousins on his mother’s side were “star struck” at all the things Christian did at such a young age. Around that time, his parents divorced and he and his mother moved to England where he continued his education and studies in the Arts, performing in various theatre productions. Upon their return, they settled in Washington, DC, where Christian graduated high school from Emerson Prep School at age 16. Initially he first attended college at Manhattanville in New York, then graduated Strayer College and earned his Bachelor’s degree in computer and business science in 1991. As an adult, he worked for Alphatronics in Durham, North Carolina, and started a new career in caregiving. He mentored a child named LaMont with Big Brothers, and a young woman with AIDS named Dee, providing her with friendship and emotional support. Little did he know that caregiving was to become his greatest legacy. In his mid-twenties he started manifesting the beginnings of bi-polar disorder. In the early 90’s it was out of control and he received the official diagnosis of Bi-Polar I. Christian survived three suicide attempts and the breakup of his first long-term committed relationship with his partner, David. He moved back to Wichita with his then partner, Matthew. They both moved in with Christian’s lifelong friend, Mila Lee Means. Matthew moved back to North Carolina to help his mom. Christian then met Brad and they were together for 9 years. He and Brad had been childhood friends at church. He had a few more relationships, but none that had a chance with bi-polar disorder. Continuing to live with Mila, he cared for her mother, Pauline, for a number of years. He then moved his grandmother, Nana, in and cared for her. Under the supervision and care of Christian, both Pauline and Nana were able to die at home per their wishes. Christian continued his care giving role, shifting his focus to online support groups for gay men and those struggling with mental health issues. He offered caring, education and support. He also wrote articles for various publications on such topics. Wanting to help himself and others, he compulsively researched bi-polar disorder and participated in several research studies. He was able to survive for 20 years due to his faithful love in God. He had a very deep intimate relationship with God and had immersed himself daily. We believe Christian may have taken his life on July 1, 2017. Whatever the day, God took Christian. Christian is survived by his lifelong friend, Mila Lee Means; father, Marlin Ray Frederick and wife, Christine Cappitelli (step-monster), all of Wichita; mother, Rosemary (“Susie” Gribble) McClelland of North Carolina, and all the people who loved him. It is said that suicide is often the outcome of brain weakness…with the final symptom of complete collapse. In Philippians 1:23, the apostle Paul writes that to depart and be with Christ is far better than staying on earth. We believe that after 20 years of fighting for some stability, Christian suffered a complete mental collapse. God understood. I’ve seen you in the sky, sitting on that cloud while driving into work Sitting cross legged surrounded by your dogs You’re saying hi, we’re saying goodbye. All our hearts are breaking—even yours a little, while looking down You see us cry—your heart aches, and our’s break. And then suddenly you are sitting next to us, staring out deep in thought Then you smile, your eyes shine bright, and you tell us it’s alright. Our hearts swell with love and we enjoy our time…It is moments like this that we feel the love that you have met. We will continue in imaginary wishing we could see you once again, but this time up in Heaven, just as peaceful, and finally content as can be. Although it’s not our time, for now, we will continue…to feel the love you had for us, Your kisses and your hugs.  Christian G. Frederick June 6, 1969 –July1, 2017 From Dad and StepMonster