Terry Fritz

On Saturday evening around 10:00 P.M., Terry Fritz peacefully passed away. Terry’s passing ended his nine month journey since he was diagnosed with Glioblastoma in December 2019. During his last week, Terry was surrounded by his family and loved ones. Terry was born on October 17, 1958 at Providence hospital in Kansas City, Kansas, to Walter Everett and Agnes (Mervak) Fritz. He was the tenth of eleven children: Joyce, James (Jim), Jerry, Janet, Everett (Butch), Gene, Larry, John, Mark, and Tom. Terry attended grade school at Sacred Heart Catholic School in Kansas City, Kansas. He attended St. Joseph High School for his freshman year where he met the love of his life, Mary Alice Kremer. Terry graduated high school from Oskaloosa High in 1976. He went on to graduate from the University of Kansas in 1980 with a B.S. in Accounting. Terry and Mary dated throughout high school and college. On January 13, 1979, Mary and Terry were united in holy matrimony at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Shawnee, KS. Upon graduation, Terry began his 40 year career with Cargill Meat Solutions. After early beginnings in Plainview, Texas and Dodge City, Kansas, Mary and Terry settled in Wichita, Kansas in 1988. Terry and Mary joined St. Francis of Assisi Parish in west Wichita, where Terry was a third-degree member of the Knights of Columbus. Terry was the proud father of Amanda Jean, Zachary Joseph, Jessica Renee, and Logan Daniel. He was devoted to his family life. Terry was his kids’ biggest supporter in school and other activities, whether it was Scouts, softball, soccer, basketball, baseball, or volleyball. He recited his “three rules” to them before their activities, that were also life lessons: Do Your Best, Never Give Up, and Have Fun. When it came to having fun, Terry enjoyed time with family and friends especially at the lake. His childhood memories at his family’s lakehouse inspired Terry to find his own lakehouse to share his childhood joys with his family and friends. Terry was in his true element at Beaver Lake spending time with family and friends. His favorite activities included swimming, skiing, boating, grilling and keeping everyone’s drinks fresh and full. The lakehouse and the acreage reminded Terry of his time at the farm during his high school years. Terry’s favorite people were his nine grandchildren. He enjoyed travelling to his children’s homes to make memories. He never missed a Baptism or First Communion, and did his best to attend as many games and activities as possible. Over Terry’s 40 year career, he made several life-long friends. He was passionate about his work, but more so about the people he worked with. Terry was a board member for the Kansas Junior Livestock Show (KJLS) for 30 years. One of the activities he enjoyed the most was organizing the KJLS burger feed, where he could bring people together around a grill and a good meal. Forever the mentor, Terry was enthusiastic with his responsibility to fundraise for the KJLS Scholarship Fund and find deserving recipients. Terry is survived by his wife Mary Alice, daughter Amanda and Rusty Harmon of Hill City, Kansas, son Zachary and Leslie Fritz of Kansas City, Missouri, daughter Jessica and Cody VenJohn of Kansas City, Missouri, son Logan Fritz and his fiance Sarah Davidson of Cincinnati, Ohio, and his nine grandchildren Peyton, Grace, Austin, Blake, Claris, and Benjamin Harmon, Willa and Olive VenJohn, and Evan Fritz. Terry was preceded in death by his parents Walter Everett and Agnes Fritz, brothers Jim and Larry, and sister Joyce. Terry is survived by siblings Jerry and Barb Fritz, Janet and Bucky Vielhauer, Everett and Sandy Fritz, Gene and Cathy Fritz, John Fritz, Mark and Beth Fritz, and Tom Fritz. Visitation and Rosary will be held at 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, September 8th with funeral mass at 10:00 a.m on Wednesday, September 9th, both at St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church. All are welcome, masks are requested, and social distancing will be required. The funeral mass will be live streamed and recorded at the St. Francis Youtube page (link below) and a reception will follow in Clare Hall. Rite of Christian Burial will be held at 11:00 a.m. Thursday, September 10th at Fairview Cemetery in Oskaloosa, Kansas. In lieu of flowers, memorials have been established with the Kansas Junior Livestock Show Scholarship Fund P.O. Box 462, Colwich, KS 67030 (note in memo Terry Fritz) and St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church 861 N. Socora, Wichita, KS 67212 (note in memo Terry Fritz). Eulogy given following the Rosary Service. Good evening everyone. We would like to thank you all for gathering here this evening in remembrance of Dad. Though we are immersed in sorrow at his loss, we also come together to celebrate the beautiful life that Dad lived. Dad was an extraordinary person, and he has touched each of us in many ways. As you all know, the last nine months since Dad’s diagnosis in December have been a journey… for Dad, and for us as a family. The reality our family had to face back in December, and the reality we have lived every day since, has been a tough pill to swallow for all of us. At the beginning and at many points throughout this journey, we have asked ourselves how do we move forward from here? What’s the next step, when we know the severity of the diagnosis Dad is facing, and when we know the medical treatment that could change the ultimate outcome does not exist. We as a family were scared, but were also left wondering how could this be happening to Dad and to our family? Our comfort and direction to these questions came from the most likely of sources…. Dad. I remember the days leading up to Dad’s surgery. He was trying to sweet-talk the nurses into letting him leave the hospital to take the family out to a restaurant for dinner. The nurses did not bite on that despite Dad’s persistent requests, but they did let him leave the neuro critical care unit to watch the Chiefs game with all of us in a family waiting room at the hospital, where we tailgated in true Fritz fashion. I also remember when we gathered with Dad in his room the hour before his surgery. Dad told us that he loved us, and not to be afraid, and that no matter what we were going to continue moving forward as a family… even as he faced a surgery that could dictate so much, his focus was to show his love and compassion by comforting his family. It always had been, so why would his focus be any different now. It took me a while to realize this, long after our family left his room before his surgery, but I felt Dad understood all of the blessings that he had received throughout his life…. His faith, his family, and his friends. Though the rest of us may have been questioning how this could be happening, Dad understood that he had already been blessed with so many gifts during his lifetime, and that his life was full, and he was ready to accept any outcome. Dad always told us it was all about perspective… well, he showed it to us in the biggest way, and ultimately that lesson has guided us along this journey. Despite the complications Dad endured post surgery, his attitude always remained positive and looking forward to the next step in “the Plan”. And at every step in the journey, he was always most happy when he was around his family and loved ones (especially his grandchildren). The other constant that has helped us through this journey are the prayers and support you have provided along the way. Whether it be the get well soon cards, messages on Caring Bridge, the meal chain, visits at the various hospitals, help with routine household chores, help watching the grandkids at times, or even providing a friendly distraction from the reality Dad and we were facing…… Your actions have mattered to us so much, and have helped us make the most of the time we had with Dad since his diagnosis. For that we are blessed and forever grateful. We are all gathered here this evening, because we are connected to Dad in some way. He was many things to many people… he was a loving husband, he was Dad, Grandpa or Papa, Brother, Friend, Mentor, and last but not least he was a Faithful Servant. Dad We wanted to include a section about how we knew Dad best, as he was to us…simply Dad. Growing up, when I was 7 and 8 years old, I would hand-write Dad many letters. The letters may not have seemed like much to most, but it was something my Dad had treasured. We discovered that my Dad had kept them for 27 years, tucked away in his leather briefcase that he had carried every day to work. This is just one of the many examples that illustrated the love, devotion, & gentle heart that my Dad had for us kids. Some of the things that would come out of my Dad’s mouth were nothing short of priceless. One instance that forever coined him the nickname of Harmon was as follows: One evening, when Logan was around 9 years old, we were all sitting around the dinner table eating hamburgers. After dinner, Logan & Dad would be going to the annual Father/Son baseball game. While we were all eating, Dad, out of nowhere, says “I’m gonna kill the ball and then when I get home, I’m gonna kill a brew. I’m Harmon Killebrew!” And at that Moment, Dad finished his beer and smashed the can on the table. We all just laughed and shook our heads at him. Another characteristic that was always very evident in my Dad was his devotion to us kids. Dad always joked that he wished us kids had bought new houses and not all old houses. Each of us kids owned a 65+ year old house at one time or another, and they all required a lot of work to say the least. Dad was always working on houses, though most of the time, it wasn’t his own. Cody & I took the trophy for the oldest and worst house purchased. About 10 years ago, we purchased a 3,000 sq ft house in Riverside, here in Wichita. When my Dad saw it for the first time, I could tell he was wondering what the heck we were thinking. It was so bad, that Dad jokingly gave us the movie, “The Money Pit” for Christmas one year. When I finally got around to watching the movie, I realized how very fitting and accurate the movie was to our house. But that didn’t stop him from coming over throughout the 7 years that we owned it and dedicating his time and weekends to helping us tear down lath and plaster, insulating the attic, and helping us install a 1,000 lb I-beam in our living room. I remember vividly the weekend we were installing the I-beam, along with 2 other smaller beams. It was a big weekend because having the drywall hung was dependent on getting all of the beams installed. That weekend didn’t go as we had hoped, and I was told the drywall would have to be delayed. I was devastated. There was a lot of male family members and friends at our house at the time, and I wanted to go someplace to be alone. I went upstairs to our 2nd story sun room, which at the time, served as our laundry room. I remember sitting down on the disgusting floor and putting my back against the washer and just crying. Within a few minutes, I started to hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I didn’t know who it was & was fearful of anyone seeing me in that state. As the person came around the corner, I saw it was my Dad. He had come looking for me because he had the father’s sense that I would be upset. He sees me sitting on the ground crying, and says to me, “Jessie, it’s going to be ok.” Then he wrapped me in his arms and gave me his big Dad hug that I have grown to miss so much. He always seemed to know the right things to say at the right time. Moreover, there was one Christmas, when I was around 10 years old, that I had written my annual present wish list to Santa Claus…if you know me, you’d know that my wish list was quite extensive. Santa promptly responded with a typed letter to me, and a few of the excerpts from it read as follows: “Rest assured, my precious one, you will receive all that you truly need. You see, Jessica, if I brought you all the toys in the world it couldn’t bring you true happiness. Toys bring only true happiness when they are used to build relationships. Sharing your treasures with your family, that is Amanda, Zachary, and Logan, and Mom and Dad too, is what brings true happiness and lasting memories.” Santa ended his letter saying, “Jessica, I have enclosed a copy of your letter with my response for you to keep. If throughout the year you get down in the dumps for some reason, pull me out, search deep in your heart and I will be there to cheer you up.” Grandpa Our Dad’s favorite people were his 9 grandchildren: Peyton, Grace, Austin, Blake, Claris, Ben, Willa, Zuzu, & Evan. Dad did a lot of things, but raising his family & being a grandfather is what he was most proud of…he lived for it. There is a quote that says “Grandfathers are just antique little boys”. For those of you who knew my Dad, this should come as no shock. Dad would take the grandkids to the trampoline park & was never too old to jump right alongside them. Blake loved it when Dad would play trampoline dodgeball with him & his siblings. Dad didn’t ease up on the kids at all. He played to win. When the whole family was in town for Mom’s 60th birthday, Dad had the idea to take all of us kids and grandkids to play laser tag. In order for Claris to play, Dad had to wear the vest, while Claris held the gun, making the 2 tied to the hip. So throughout the whole match, Dad had to follow Claris around making him an extremely easy target, which we all took full advantage of. Dad was never to manly to play Ring-around-the-Rosy or Candyland with Willa, or to play Barbie dress up with Claris. He was instrumental in teaching all of the grandkids the fundamentals of sports; playing catch, and dribbling a ball (beit soccer or basketball). Dad successfully taught all of Amanda’s 6 kids to ski, including her youngest, Ben, who was only 3 years old at the time. He loved taking all of the grandkids tubing and watching their faces light up when he drove them off the wake. He treated the grandkids a lot nicer on the tube than he ever did with us kids. Grace’s favorite memory of Dad was when Dad would do the “shamu dive” off the back of the boat. What this entailed was Dad making whale noises and flopping sideways in to the water, resurfacing from the water in whale-like fashion, by blowing water in to the air. Playing cards, especially pitch, was another family favorite of ours. It was something that Dad played growing up with his brothers and father, and later on with my Mom and us kids. Continuing on the pitch tradition, he taught Peyton to play. Peyton couldn’t believe how Dad would always outbid other players, even if he had a bad hand, and still managed to come out on top & win. Austin thoroughly enjoyed watching his grandpa dance. And if anyone has seen Dad’s dance moves, they are quite something. They have been compared to Jed Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies, just to give you an idea. Austin remembers vividly Dad dancing to Lady Gaga during her half-time performance show at the Super Bowl. It made Austin feel so happy. Willa loved spending time with her Papa. It was a normal occurrence that if Willa & Papa were missing, we would find them back in the laundry room, sneaking some candy. Willa knew that Papa was a softie & he always gave in to her. Zuzu, who is now 16 months old, adored her Papa. Every time we were at my parents’ house, she would run straight back to “Papa’s room” to see him. Somehow she managed to get her short, yet extremely chubby legs to run even faster if she saw us trying to chase her to grab her. She was adamant about getting back there to see her Papa. Evan, who is currently 10 months old, had been Dad’s “breakfast buddy” these last several months when Zach & Leslie would be visiting Mom & Dad. Evan and Grandpa would sit side-by-side and make faces at one another. Evan would coo at his grandpa and Dad would give him the “Terry wave” back. The two made quite the pair. Being a grandpa isn’t just a title, it’s an honor, and Dad never took for granted that honor. He loved his grandchildren with his whole heart. Brother and Friend Amanda and I sat down and attempted to write multiple times on how Dad was with his friends and with his siblings. We struggled putting it in to words because we knew him as a child knows a father. In the end, we came to the realization that his relationships were like his faith: quiet, steady, and always present. Each of you knew Dad, many of you longer than us kids had. You have experiences with him that you will love and cherish forever. We’ve been able to witness these relationships, and it’s helped us build our relationships because we want to share the same bonds that you all shared with Dad. He knew how to have a good time, but also how to work hard and get through difficult situations. Something everyone may not know is the collection of nicknames Dad has acquired through these friendships. One of the nicknames, TNT, came from our good friend Michelle Becker. While you may think this came from Dad’s dance moves and liveliness at get-togethers, the name actually stands for “Too Nice Terry”. Dad was always willing to go and help, and when he spoke or acted he never hurt a soul. He told the truth, in kindness and supported those around him. That support led to another nickname that Rob, Cody, I and many others called him. Dad was “the Super”. If you had a home project, Dad would come help. If he knew what to do, he’d be in the thick of things; and if it was out of his expertise, it didn’t matter, he’d just be there to supervise and give support. And he was never too proud to push a broom or run a vacuum. Another nickname Dad acquired over the years was Captain Corona. Dad loved to be on the lake, listening to Three Dog Night, Jim Croce, and of course Lady Gaga. He knew every artist and every word to every song. Dad loved to meet up with friends on the lake and swim, have a few corona’s, and sing with the songs. He loved to teach people how to ski and to pull skiers, and skied himself three times on his 61st birthday. Over our lives we’ve seen Dad lay the foundations for good friendships. He was always kind, always present, always willing to help, always authentic, and always willing to tell the truth. We’ve seen the fruits of these friendships over the course of our lives but more acutely these last few months. When Dad was in the hospital, people drove in from out-of-state just to spend a few moments with him. When we were up in Nebraska at Madonna, people would travel up in the morning, spend a brief time and then head home. And our family has not wanted for support, food, drink, or prayers at any point. Throughout this time with Dad, we’ve heard repeatedly from family and friends that Dad and Mom have done such a great job with us kids. To Dad, this was the ultimate compliment. Work Family Dad was hired by Cargill (or MBP Excel as it was called at that time) fresh out of college. He worked at 2 of the beef plants before relocating to Wichita as the credit manager, eventually moving into the beef division where he held many different positions, which concluded with Senior Beef Analyst. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to work with my Dad during summer break while in high school and college. Not only did this allow me to see what he actually did at work, but also to see how respected he was amongst his peers. He was integral in the development and implementation of several software systems, most notably the Boxed Beef “Cowculator” which won numerous awards. I was able to run this program a couple summers while I worked there, and even as a teenager was amazed at what it could do and the information it provided. Because of his experience at the plants, my Dad understood how everything worked at the production level and how to integrate all the necessary pieces to make the whole picture work. To me, this is what made him such a good leader and mentor at work. He took the time to understand each part of the process and each person’s role. He wasn’t afraid to take on new tasks and responsibilities, even if they didn’t necessarily fall under his job description- he was a true team player and took pride in his job and the company he worked for. The people at Cargill weren’t just coworkers, they were his work family. He truly cared about the people he worked with and their families. He made so many lifelong friends at work- his lunch buddies, the brain trust, the grumpy old men to name a few. This was made apparent through this whole journey the past 9 months…the outpouring of love and support from the Cargill family through this journey has been incredible! Each time a person from Cargill visited, sent a message, or brought a meal, we learned a little more about the many roles he played at work. He was a friend, mentor, team leader, and work-Dad to name a few. I just loved getting to see the comradery and the antics while working there. He was well known for his terrible handwriting- actually one of my main duties was to decipher what my Dad’s notes said for his coworkers. My Dad’s desk was never clean. He always had piles of papers everywhere- one of my bad habits as well. However, he always knew where everything was. He was also a bit of a paper hoarder too. He printed off and kept everything he might ever need…he probably has the record for most file boxes in storage. He really struggled when everything started going paperless. I remember talking to him on his birthday my freshman year in college. I asked him how his day had been. He said “The gals at work got me today….they took EVERYTHING off of my desk and put it in a box as a prank. They totally ruined my filing system…it’s going to take me days to get everything back into the correct piles on my desk!” I just laughed and laughed. I know it was a traumatic experience for him. Dad’s work ethic and sheer passion for the livestock industry made it an easy decision when asked to join the Kansas Junior Livestock Show board, which he proudly served on for 30 years. His favorite part of the show was the opening night hamburger feed. He would organize a group from Cargill, who along with their families, would flip burgers, take meal tickets, and serve food to all the exhibitors and their families. It was something we, as kids, looked forward to every year. We’d help with the meal, and then walk through the barns looking at all the animals and meeting the kids showing them. As budgets got tighter, Dad worked harder getting sponsorships for the show and for the scholarships. He took pride in going through all the scholarship applications and learning about each kid, then walking through the barns and meeting them in person. This is why we selected the KS Jr Livestock Show Scholarship Fund as one of the memorials for my Dad. Our hope is to establish an annual scholarship in his name. The board had already reached out to us about doing one this year and it’s something we hope to continue for years to come. Faithful Servant Dad’s faith was a quiet faith that was constantly present. He didn’t always speak of it, but it was infused in the way he lived his life. When we were kids he would come to our rooms at night and prayed with us, and before every meal you better bet our family said the prayer before meals. And if you’ve eaten any meals with our family, you may remember that there are a few more Amen’s in our version. And as we grew up, he worked hard to ensure we got the Catholic education he received when he was a child. There was no doubt that when we went to school we’d be attending St. Francis and Bishop Carroll. When I got to an age where I was looking for a confirmation name, I remembered Dad’s “Middle name”, Lawrence. It had an immediate appeal to me because...well, Rock Chalk, but then I looked into St. Lawrence some more. St. Lawrence is the patron of comedians and chefs. The histories say that as a punishment for handing over church property to the poor instead of the state he was roasted over a fire in Rome, during the early Christian persecutions. During this, Lawrence looked at the folks around him and said “Turn me over, I am done on this side!” I thought that was pretty snarky, and that I could do worse than having St. Lawrence as my confirmation saint. When I told Dad I chose Lawrence as my confirmation name, he told me he didn’t have a middle name. Lawrence was the name he was confirmed under as well. Dad knew the history, and the significance. It is so fitting with Dad’s demeanor and his love of grilling for his friends and family. As we grew older, Dad made sure we went to Church on Sunday. The family lakehouse on Beaver Lake is about 45 minutes away from the nearest Catholic Church and mass started at 7:45 am. There were many Sunday mornings, after a few days at the lake and a late Saturday night where making it to mass was not the easiest task in the world. One night in particular, Dad and Mom were down at the lake with Zach and Leslie and they were boating and swimming and singing and even coming up with a new dance and all-in-all having a good time. Dad at the time had a bout with gout and was therefore drinking vodka and flavored waters. After they made it up from the dock, and as he was getting ready for bed, he turned to my brother and his wife and simply said, “Church is going to be a problem tomorrow”. That being said, in the morning, he was up for church all the same. Though he did mutter, “The Russians got to me last night…” Dad’s faith was with him till the end. Last summer prior to Dad’s diagnosis, Dad was at the lake with his brother Mark. Over the course of the weekend the conversation came up about how we are such a small speck in all of creation. They were talking about how they would like to leave this life, and Dad turned to Mark and said, “You know, what we don’t get to choose”. Dad was at peace with this, he was not afraid of dying; he had faith in God’s plan for him, and hope in his salvation. “Live in a way so that those you don’t know God will come to know him just by knowing you”. Loving Husband Mom, your and Dad’s love for each other is the foundation to our family; everything was built from it. And Dad loved you so much. He had his special ways in which he showed his love. From the “yes dear’s”; to the endearing names he would write on your gifts at Christmas; to starting every day together with the paper and coffee (two cups only); to how he would snooze in his chair until you had fallen asleep, so that his snoring would not keep you awake… his actions were always to please you. Your love for one another is the perfect model, which all of us kids have learned and incorporated into our own family lives. We have always enjoyed the stories of your and Dad’s early days…. From Mom asking Dad to the sweetheart dance Freshmen year, to your first date helping Dad fix a tractor on the farm (when he dropped a wrench on you), to your days at the old farm house where you lived as Dad finished college after you were married. I wish there was a way to go back and count the number of hedge fence posts Dad had to cut and set in order to pay off his long distance phone calls during his courtship of you; I know that number is up there. One of my other favorites has always been how Mom would cover up her secret trips out to the Farm from Shawnee, which was 55 miles one way. The odometer on her car at the time would actually take miles off the mileage reading if you drove it in reverse. So when Mom returned to Shawnee, she would drive circles in reverse in a parking lot near her house…. The lengths you each went through to be together. You and Dad have always been inseparable, and have always put each other first. Upon the discovery of his diagnosis in December, Dad’s first reaction was to turn to Mom and ask her if she was going to be ok. Throughout his journey Dad continued to always be the loving husband that he is. Mom, as we mourn for Dad I know there must be thoughts of uncertainty going through your mind. I want you to know that you will never be alone. We love you as you and Dad taught us to love; WE will always be there. Look around this room; you will never be alone. It'll Shine When It Shines Over the last few years Dad has increasingly shared the Song “It’ll Shine when it Shines” by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils with all of us. It was our dad’s motto in life. It’s about a man that learned to wait patiently for the things he wanted. Dad knew he & mom always wanted a lake house, & dad waited patiently to purchase one after he completed his last college payment for Logan at KU. Dad also knew the importance with just being happy with what you’ve got. As Uncle Tom pointed out this week to all of us, Dad has always been this way. He has always been completely happy and comfortable to find something he likes and to stick with it his entire life. This is exemplified in his marriage, lifelong friends, time with family, and a 40 plus year career at one company. This song has become so important to all of us in the last few years when Dad initially shared it with us and told us to listen to the words. To soak them in and internalize them as he most likely did as a young man beginning his journey in life. It was only then that we discovered this was one of Dad’s mantras in life and that Dad exemplified and held to it proudly. In possibly one of Dad’s final lessons, he passed this wisdom on to us. He showed us what it is like to enjoy life no matter what it gives you, and even on the coldest rainiest days, much like today, the sun will shine when it decides to, and there is no need to rush its coming. Because no matter what you do, “It’ll shine when it shines”.