Jewish Cultural Services in Wichita, KS
Honoring Jewish Funeral Rites, Traditions and Mourning Customs in Wichita, Kansas
Downing & Lahey Mortuaries & Crematory is honored to serve Jewish families throughout Wichita and the surrounding communities. Our funeral directors work closely with families, rabbis and local congregations to respect Jewish funeral and burial traditions while providing compassionate guidance throughout the planning process.
Practices may vary among Jewish denominations, congregations and individual families, making it important to create a service that reflects each family’s beliefs and wishes.
If a death has occurred or you would like to discuss planning a Jewish funeral, our caring staff is available to help coordinate meaningful arrangements that honor your loved one and your faith.
When Does a Jewish Funeral Take Place?
Jewish funeral customs are rooted in centuries of tradition, honoring the deceased with dignity, simplicity and respect while providing comfort to those who mourn.
Tradition calls for burial to occur as soon as reasonably possible following death, historically within 1-2 days. Today, travel requirements, family circumstances, legal requirements and other considerations may make a longer timeframe necessary.
The guiding principle is generally to avoid unnecessary delays while allowing family members and the community to appropriately honor the deceased.
Preparing the Deceased for Burial
The respectful care of the deceased is an important part of Jewish funeral tradition. Depending upon the family’s level of observance and congregation, several customs may be followed.
A Chevra Kadisha, or “holy society,” is a group specially trained to prepare the deceased for Jewish burial. Traditionally, men care for male decedents and women care for female decedents.
Tahara is the ritual washing and purification of the deceased performed before burial. The body is treated with great dignity throughout the process.
Following Tahara, the deceased may be dressed in simple white burial garments called Tachrichim. Their simplicity reflects the Jewish belief that all people are equal in death.
Traditional Jewish burial emphasizes simplicity and a natural return to the earth. For this reason, families following traditional customs often choose a simple wooden casket. Some caskets designed specifically for Jewish burial contain no metal and are assembled using wooden dowels and other natural materials.
Jewish Funeral Service Traditions
A Jewish funeral is generally simple and solemn, with an emphasis on honoring the life of the deceased rather than elaborate ceremony. Practices vary, but a service may include prayers, psalms, readings, eulogy, and other traditional liturgy.
Kriah – The Tearing of a Garment
Kriah means “tearing” and is an outward symbol of a mourner’s grief. Traditionally, an immediate family member tears a piece of clothing (parents, children, siblings, & spouse). In most contemporary services, a black ribbon attached to the mourner’s clothing is torn instead.
Kriah may be accompanied by the blessing Baruch Dayan Ha-Emet, acknowledging God as the true and righteous judge.
Hesped – The Eulogy
The Hesped, or eulogy, honors the life and character of the person who has died. It may be delivered by a rabbi, cantor, family member, or close friend. There also may be more than one eulogy.
El Malei Rachamim
El Malei Rachamim, sometimes called the Memorial Prayer, is a traditional prayer asking that the soul of the deceased find eternal rest. It is commonly included in Jewish funeral and memorial services.
Mourner’s Kaddish
The Mourner’s Kaddish is one of the best-known prayers associated with Jewish mourning. Although recited in memory of those who have died, the prayer itself focuses on praising and sanctifying God rather than on death.
In traditional Jewish practice, Kaddish is recited in the presence of a Minyan, a prayer quorum, composed of at least 10 Jewish adults. This can be all men or a mix of women and men depending on the Jewish denomination.
Jewish Burial Customs
Burial itself is considered an important mitzvah, or sacred obligation, in Jewish tradition.
Kevurah
Kevurah refers to the burial of the deceased. At the cemetery, family members and others in attendance may participate by placing earth into the grave.
This physical act of burial can be especially meaningful because it represents the community’s final act of care for the deceased.
Customs vary among congregations and families. In some traditions, participants use the back of the shovel for the first placement of earth or return the shovel to the ground rather than handing it directly to the next person. In some traditions, people place three or more shovelfuls into the grave.
Shurot
After burial, those attending may form two lines through which the mourners pass as they leave the gravesite. Known as Shurot, this tradition symbolically marks the transition from burial to mourning while surrounding the family with the support of their community.
A traditional expression of comfort may be offered to the mourners, asking that God comfort them among all those who mourn in Zion and Jerusalem.
Shiva and Jewish Mourning Customs
Jewish mourning traditions provide structure following a death while recognizing that grief is deeply personal.
Shiva – The First Seven Days
Shiva, from the Hebrew word for “seven,” traditionally refers to the seven-day period of mourning following burial. Immediate family members may gather or “sit Shiva” at the home of the deceased or another family member.
The manner of Shiva observance can vary according to denomination, family tradition, and religious holidays.
During Shiva, friends and members of the community visit the mourners to offer their presence and support. Rather than expecting the grieving family to entertain visitors, the emphasis is on allowing mourners to remember their loved one, tell stories, or simply sit quietly with those who have come to comfort them. Some families let people come at any time, while some set specific hours for visitors.
Friends and relatives also commonly provide food for the family so mourners do not have to concern themselves with preparing meals.
The Shiva Candle
A Shiva candle is traditionally lit after returning from the cemetery and burns throughout the seven-day mourning period. It serves as a visible reminder of the person who has died and the family’s period of mourning.
Visiting a Shiva House
Visitors should follow the family’s preferences and level of observance. Traditionally, mourners are not expected to greet visitors or act as hosts.
There is also no expectation that visitors find the perfect words of comfort. Quiet presence, listening and sharing an appropriate memory of the deceased can often be more meaningful.
Sheloshim – The First 30 Days
Sheloshim, meaning “thirty,” refers to the first 30 days following burial and includes the Shiva period.
After Shiva concludes, mourners generally begin returning to work and normal daily activities. Some mourning practices continue throughout Sheloshim, however, and participation in celebrations or festive events may be limited.
When mourning the death of a parent, certain traditions extend beyond the initial 30 days.
Remembering a Loved One Throughout the Year
Jewish mourning and remembrance continue well beyond the funeral.
Yahrzeit
Yahrzeit is the annual anniversary of a person’s death according to the Hebrew calendar. Families traditionally light a memorial candle beginning at sunset before the anniversary and may attend synagogue to recite Kaddish.
Many people also perform an act of charity, or Tzedakah, in memory of their loved one.
Yizkor
Yizkor, meaning “May God Remember,” is a memorial prayer service traditionally observed at designated times during the Jewish calendar. Families may attend synagogue, recite memorial prayers and remember loved ones who have died.
Tzedakah
Giving Tzedakah, or making a charitable contribution, is another meaningful Jewish remembrance tradition. A donation may be made to a synagogue, charitable organization or cause that was important to the deceased, allowing that person’s memory and values to continue benefiting others.
Headstones and the Unveiling
Jewish graves are traditionally marked with a headstone or monument. The timing of its placement varies, although many families hold an unveiling ceremony sometime after the initial mourning period and within the first year following death.
The unveiling provides another opportunity for family and friends to gather, remember their loved one and formally dedicate the grave marker.
Because cemetery requirements and Jewish customs vary, families should consult their rabbi and cemetery when selecting a monument, inscription and date for the unveiling.
Compassionate Care Rooted in Respect and Tradition
Downing & Lahey is honored to serve Antiochian Orthodox families in Wichita and the surrounding areas with respectful guidance and personalized care.
From traditional funeral and burial services to coordinating fellowship meals and memorial gatherings, our team is here to support families with compassion, dignity, and attention to the traditions that matter most.
To speak with our experienced team or begin planning arrangements, please contact us today.